On Paint Balling

Smitty, "I have a newfound respect for our troops."

On Her Accent

Smitty, "People think I sound like I'm from North Dakota. I think it's because I have a lot of saliva."

On Eating Leftovers

Smitty, "Well I just took out a 3 day old cake box from deep inside the trash and ate the crumbs out of it. Totally worth it."

On Kissing a Worker From the Deli

Smitty, "Every time I go in there now, he will think I'm there for him, but really I just love the rice bowls."

On Bartending

Smitty, "Did you know beer before you started bartending?"
Brooke, "We had met a few times."

On Her Love for Dogs

Smitty, "He's so great. If only he was human, I would totally date him."

On Using Her Eggs

Me, "Smitty, I stole an egg, but there will be a surprise for you when you get home."
Smitty, "Is it a surfboard?"

The Next Day
Smitty, "Wait, was the egg surprise those cookies?"